I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize