What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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