someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I understand Curling. That high.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize