he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
