There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
