wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
