that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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