no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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