According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I wear drunk well.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
