Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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