Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
