So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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