I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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