Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
