I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
