i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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