Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
