Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize