You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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