she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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