As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
