Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
