You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
