You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize