Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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