I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
