I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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