she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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