Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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