he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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