I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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