Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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