at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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