Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
