She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
