He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
