For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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