Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
