farters have to be the big spoon...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize