Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
