Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
