carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
