just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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