I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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