My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
