Soap is not a condiment
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My vagina is officially offended.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
