Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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