When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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