The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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