You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
