How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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