so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Terrible idea I love it
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize