I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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