If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
