There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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