....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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